I received this via email from my friend Elliot this morning. You may have read it as I guess it is going around the Internet. If there is a letter from the Red States to the Blue States I would print that, too, but I have not received that.
Dear Red States:
If you manage to steal this election, too, like in 2000, we've decided we're leaving. Splitting. Moving Out. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. Good riddance, you say? In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend any more of our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
--Blue States
(c)Copyright 2008 Doug Boggs
Showing posts with label country. Show all posts
Showing posts with label country. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
WE the people...
WE are all different, with a common bond, yet with different views. WE entrust our feelings to the people who WE have voted. WE entrust them to ensure those feelings are carried out. WE have been dissed, schemed, ignored, and are no longer satisfied with more lies, deceit, mis/disinformation, and bureaucratic grandstanding.
WE demand answers and WE demand accountability.
WE have recently shown in these past few days that WE demand to be represented and to be provided inclusion and reciprocity to the people who ALLOW this country to thrive.
I believe, like many that the man to lead this revolution of Government is Barack Hussein Obama. He has not lead a priveledged life like the Repugnicants want you to believe. He was raised mainly by his white mother and grandparents (as if it should even make a difference). He has superlative skills, profound knowledge, and unparalleled demeaner and spirituality. These are qualities that only come around a few times in our lives. WE have witnessed throughout history, how peoples lives have been touched, by people like himself.
WE owe this to the people who have fought against the British to govern themselves from tyranny. WE owe the people who stood together against slavery, and fought for abolishment. WE owe the people who stood against racial inequality, in spite of lynching, water hoses, police brutality, imprisonment, and bigotry. WE owe the soldiers and those fallen, in an unjust war, proud, determined, in spite of their personal views for the love and pride of our country.
WE explain to the rest of the world that it is not one person who defines our country.
WE stand together to question the motives behind a Bailout. WE question it, WE question them and ask why that comes so easy, when the children in the inner cities have no health care, and their parents with no high school diploma, where vagrancy and drugs are prevalent. In our country there is a race of people are still unjustly jailed at a rate that fills 67% of prisons, but make only 13% of the population. Our schools can not produce graduates who are proficient with the basic skills to carry them to be successful in college, and a socioeconomic system that has its black youth grow up to think that their only way out is through selling drugs, or becoming an athlete or rapper.
Where is the money to fix these problems that plague our nation and cause division, and disdain amongst its citizens. why is this such a easy thing to come up with to bail out the few, priviledged, people who's irresponsibility has cause this great peril, when people cringe at the prospect of reparations? Yet, so willing to shell out millions and billions to foreign countries to help them through 'crisis'.
This country was built on the back of its very citizens and our society, our elected officials, our representatives has turned its back on US.
WE owe it to us, WE the people to reconcile, and move forward to make this country, the best in the world. The country that the world can look up to for guidance into the future. For if not for you and I, then for our children, and grandchildren.
It is time for CHANGE!
WATCH THIS
WE demand answers and WE demand accountability.
WE have recently shown in these past few days that WE demand to be represented and to be provided inclusion and reciprocity to the people who ALLOW this country to thrive.
I believe, like many that the man to lead this revolution of Government is Barack Hussein Obama. He has not lead a priveledged life like the Repugnicants want you to believe. He was raised mainly by his white mother and grandparents (as if it should even make a difference). He has superlative skills, profound knowledge, and unparalleled demeaner and spirituality. These are qualities that only come around a few times in our lives. WE have witnessed throughout history, how peoples lives have been touched, by people like himself.
WE owe this to the people who have fought against the British to govern themselves from tyranny. WE owe the people who stood together against slavery, and fought for abolishment. WE owe the people who stood against racial inequality, in spite of lynching, water hoses, police brutality, imprisonment, and bigotry. WE owe the soldiers and those fallen, in an unjust war, proud, determined, in spite of their personal views for the love and pride of our country.
WE explain to the rest of the world that it is not one person who defines our country.
WE stand together to question the motives behind a Bailout. WE question it, WE question them and ask why that comes so easy, when the children in the inner cities have no health care, and their parents with no high school diploma, where vagrancy and drugs are prevalent. In our country there is a race of people are still unjustly jailed at a rate that fills 67% of prisons, but make only 13% of the population. Our schools can not produce graduates who are proficient with the basic skills to carry them to be successful in college, and a socioeconomic system that has its black youth grow up to think that their only way out is through selling drugs, or becoming an athlete or rapper.
Where is the money to fix these problems that plague our nation and cause division, and disdain amongst its citizens. why is this such a easy thing to come up with to bail out the few, priviledged, people who's irresponsibility has cause this great peril, when people cringe at the prospect of reparations? Yet, so willing to shell out millions and billions to foreign countries to help them through 'crisis'.
This country was built on the back of its very citizens and our society, our elected officials, our representatives has turned its back on US.
WE owe it to us, WE the people to reconcile, and move forward to make this country, the best in the world. The country that the world can look up to for guidance into the future. For if not for you and I, then for our children, and grandchildren.
It is time for CHANGE!
WATCH THIS
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